Radhe Radhe

I had and still have traces of a “fanatical” nature.

When I joined ISKCON and during my stay there, I thought that THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE WAY. There is no other way. Everyone else is wrong.

When I received diksha from Radhakund Mahanta 108 Sri Srimat Ananta das Babaji in 2004, I again felt the same wave of fanaticism in my heart. Again I thought, YES, this is the ONLY WAY.

I was deeply involved in the mud-slinging of whose parivar is more un-bonafide and whose diksha is more worthless and I was enjoying fighting the battle between “the babajis vs ISKCON/GM”, sitting high on my siddha-pranali horse.

“Without siddha pranali, you can´t attain perfection.”

“Your parivar is not authentic.”

“He said, she said, he said, she said…yadda yadda…”

“______________________________________”

It ruined my bhajan and I realized that I again fell into the trap of “BEING BETTER”…”HAVING THE MONOPOLY OF THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH”.

By the mercy of my beloved Gurudeva and all the Vaishnavas I met afterwards, I realized more and more how foolish I was and how sectarian my thinking still was…and honestly, still sometimes is.

But in all my heart´s honesty, I came to the following conclusion over the years (as you can see in the postings here on my blog):

1. It was never my intention to harm or disturb the faith of anyone (although I probably did) and for sure it isn´t anymore now.
2. I deeply believe that the siddha deha, our eternal spiritual form, can be revealed by Sri Gurudeva, the Holy Name and directly by Sri Krishna.
3. I firmly believe that any sincere sadhaka BELONGING TO ANY PARIVAR in the family of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu can achieve svarupa siddhi by following the process given by his/her Gurudeva.
4. I firmly believe that the matter of giving siddha pranali is an utmost private affair and it should not be given to persons without the necessary adhikar.
5. I firmly believe that a true sat Gurudeva knows the right time and the right way to introduce siddha pranali to the disciple.

If I offended anyone I beg for forgiveness and I pray for the mercy of the Vaishnavas.

your servant
Tarun Govinda das