In his svarūpāveśa Śrī Raghunātha dāsa has dried off Śrīmatī’s limbs after Her bath and dressed Her. Then, when that vision leaves him, he cries and rolls on the bank of Śrī Rādhākuṇḍa, saying: “When will You fulfill the longstanding aspirations of this wretch by giving me my desired service?”

His heart melts for want of direct, personal service. Then again humility wells up in his heart and, understanding his unworthiness, he begins to weep again. Still he cannot give up hoping. When he remembers the compassion of his beloved deity his heart is illuminated by the light of hope. This hope is nectar that revives the sādhaka, who is suffering the pangs of separation. In Stavamālā Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī prays:

prācīnānāṁ bhajanam atulam duṣkaraṁ śṛṅvato me nairāśyena jvalati hṛdayaṁ bhakti leśālasasya viśvadrīcīm aghahara tavākarṇya kāruṇya vīcīm āśābindūkṣitam idam upaity antare hanta śaityam

“O destroyer of Aghāsura! The greatest souls (like Śukadeva, Ambarīṣa and others) have hardly been able to worship You, and when I hear about that my heart, that is totally devoid of any devotion, feels pain! But when I hear from the scriptures and the sages that the waves of Your compassion are flowing towards everyone, from Lord Brahmā down to the meanest creature, the drops of nectarean hope cool off my heart and soothe it!” {Stavāvalī}

When the practising devotee is immersed in remembrance of Śrī Rādhā (smaraṇa niṣṭha) he feels as if he directly serves Her and when he gives up that remembrance and returns to worldly thoughts he feels as if he falls from heaven into a desert. Hope is what keeps that practising devotee alive. He can not do bhajan when he feels: “I’m not going to get it!” The hope for attainment makes a seat for himself in the heart of the devotee. uddhava dāsa āśa kore heraite sakhī saha yugala kiśora – „Uddhava dāsa hopes to see the Yugala Kiśora with Their sakhīs!”

When meditation becomes very deep visions start coming. Although the Gosvāmīs are eternal associates of the Lord they still relish the flavours of sādhana, calling out and lamenting: “Hā Svāmini! Be merciful to me and take me into the kingdom of devotional service!” Then Raghunātha’s mind and heart return to the kingdom of transcendental pastimes as he gets a vision of his next gradual service.

Srila Ananta das Babaji