SUBALA BALLABA-VARYA KUMĀRAYO
DAYITA NARMA SAKHAS TVAM ASI VRAJE
ITI TAYOḤ PURATO VIDHURAṀ JANAṀ
KṢAṆAM AMUṀ KṚPAYĀDYA NIVEDAYA

O Subala! You are Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa’s best friend here in Vraja! Please have a little pity on me and tell Them of my sorrow!

DUḤKHA VṚTTĀNTA NIVEDANA (Submitting One’s Sorrow)

Makaranda Kaṇā Vyākhyā:

Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī anxiously prays to the beloved friends of Śrī Rādhā-Mādhava and tells them of his painful love-in-separation. The aspirant devotee can only understand this by awakening his svarūpa. How sweet is that feeling:
“I am a maidservant, dedicated to the devotional service of Śrī Rādhā-Mādhava!”

Bhāva (feeling) makes the stream of thoughts in the human mind deeper and deeper. There is always one particular feeling arising in the human mind that clashes with the objects of the phenomenal world. But the feelings that awaken in the world of devotion as a result of clashing with the transcendental objects of this world are completely different from the sensual feelings in the material world. When the human mind is absorbed in a certain object, that can be called a ‘bhāva’, and when the devotee’s mind is absorbed in the sounds and flavours of God it is called ‘bhagavad bhāva’.

Mañjarī bhāva is the highest kind of bhagavad bhāva, and the mañjarīs can relish Śrī Rādhā-Mādhava’s transcendental flavours, forms and qualities to the utmost.
The aspirant can also experience this by following in the footsteps of the Gosvāmīs.

mahatera bhāva, bhāvite bhāvite, tad bhāve hobe sarva vismaraṇa
antar bāhye tabe, ekākāra hobe, mahad bhāve rasa hobe āsvādana

“When you think in the way that the great devotees do you will forget everything else. The external and the internal world will then take one single form and in the mood of the great saints rasa can be relished.”

In this verse Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī offers his heart’s prayers unto the lotus-feet of Rādhā and Mādhava’s dearmost boyfriend Subala. In Vraja Subala is the dearmost and most intimate friend of Kṛṣṇa.

sarvebhyaḥ praṇayibhyo’sau priya-narma sakhā varaḥ
sa gokule tu subalas tathā syād arjunādikaḥ
(Ujjvala Nīlamaṇi 2.13)

“Of all of Kṛṣṇa’s boyfriends the priyanarma sakhās are the greatest. In Gokula (Vraja) Subala is the greatest and in Dvārakā Arjuna and others are the greatest.”

These priya narma sakhās play an important role in the secret meetings of Rādhā and Mādhava, and Subala’s role in this is most confidential.

In the condition of pūrva rāga (falling in love) Kṛṣṇa did not feel good when He was attracted to Śrī Rādhā’s sweetness and beauty. His mind, that was eager to meet Her, constantly remembered this Priyājī. The love of His friends, the affection of His mother and father – He had no taste for any of this anymore. Although He had come to the forest to tend His cows He went far away, alone, on the pretext of admiring the beauty of the forest, leaving the responsibility over the cows to His friends. The lonely forest was filled with Kadamba-trees and nightingales were singing in the different trees. The forest was maddened with the fragrance of the fresh flowers. Śyāma stood there a little with His flute in His hand, but He did not enjoy all this beauty at all. Again He walks on, entering a solitary Mādhavī-grove, where He sat down on a jewelled platform at the base of a Tamāla-tree, having only one thought on His mind:

aparūpa pekhaluṁ rāmā!
kanaka latā ava- lambane uyalo,
hariṇī hīna hima dhāmā

“What a wonderful girl I have seen! Her face is like a rising spotless moon resting on a golden vine.”

His lotuslike face became greyed as He thought of the beautiful girl He saw lately and His eyes became indifferent. Meanwhile priya narma sakhā Subala came there, and seeing Govinda’s sad face, he felt pain in his heart. He sat down next to his friend and asked Him with a voice anointed with love and affection:

“Friend! Why do I see Your face so morose today? Why have You left us and the cows to sit here all alone?”

Śyāma replied: “Brother, there’s nothing wrong!”

Subala said: “O Friend! Don’t try to hide anything from me! I can see deep within Your heart! Tell me openly what happened!”

Hearing Subala’s words Govinda slowly moved His hand over His chest. Then one or two teardrops fell over Subala’s hand, making Subala even more upset.

“Hey friend! What is this? You are crying? When I see You like this My heart breaks into a hundred pieces! Tell me what’s going on and I will give my life if necessary to relieve You from Your distress!”

Govinda replied: “Friend, I have nothing to hide from you! Listen, and I will tell you a se-cret. Every day when I come to the forest one beautiful girl crosses the path of My eyes. Every time I pretend not to see Her and I go on My way again. This has been going on for some time. I just ramble in the forest, tending My cows and playing My flute, trying to forget Her and think of something else. Since a few days, though, I understand that I’m wasting My time trying to forget Her. This girl has entered into My heart and I realise now that I can not live without Her anymore. Surely She must know some art of enchantment, so that She can enter My heart and madden Me!”

Subala then asked:

“Friend, who is this girl? What does She look like? Where have You seen Her, tell me!”

Kṛṣṇa said: “I don’t know who She is and I cannot describe Her to you! Whom can I compare Her to? She can only be compared to Herself, but still I can tell you something:

tuṅga maṇi mandire, thira bijurī sañcare,
megha ruci vasana paridhānā

“She shines like a steady lightning-strike on a high jewelled temple, and She wears a sārī that shines like a cloud.”

“That’s why I could’t see whether She was a goddess or a human being when I first saw Her, because a human girl on this earth can never be so beautiful!”

janamiyā dekhi nāi heno nārī
bhaṅgima raṅgima, ghana se cāhani
gale se motima hārī

“In My entire life I have never seen such a girl! Her playful gestures, Her piercing glances, the necklace around Her neck!”

Subala laughed and replied:

“Hey friend! You don’t have to worry anymore! I know who You’re speaking about! She shines like lightning, She wears a blue sārī and a pearl necklace and You see Her standing on the turret of a palace – from these attributes I can understand that it is Vinodinī Rādhā, the daughter of Mahārāja Vṛṣabhānu!”

When Śyāma heard the name of Śrī Rādhā, He became even more agitated, so Subala consoled Him by assuring Him that he was going to arrange for Him to meet Her somehow or other.

Meanwhile Śrī Rādhā, who had also fallen deeply in love with Śyāma, had given up eating and sleeping out of separation from Him. In this way She was sometimes a virahinī (separated girl), a yoginī (a female mystic or a girl united with her man), or a pāgalinī (madwoman).

virati āhāre, rāṅgāvāsa pare,
yemon yoginī pārā

“She gave up eating and wearing colorful sārīs, becoming like a yoginī.”

She stared at a fresh cloud, practised japa of Śyāma’s names and cried streams of tears, flapping and jumping like a fish out of water, not knowing what is back and what is front. Now She will burn to death and there’s no way back either. The hope of attainment is far away. The darkness has no name, but the sky ahead is filled with dark clouds.

The sakhīs are very worried when they see Rādhā’s condition, and finally with Subala’s mediation they manage to accomplish the sweet meeting of Śrī Rādhā-Mādhava.
Śrīpāda Rūpa prays:

“O Subala! How wonderful is your role in the meeting of the Divine Couple! In this way They are completely subdued by you! Please be kind upon this wretch and submit to Their lotus-feet how miserable I feel! There is only one misery in this world, and that is that Rādhā and Mādhava are not here!”

The aspirant devotee should also feel some of this transcendental distress. Only the devotional service of Rādhā and Mādhava is blissful, and everything else is miserable – this realization is required. But this distress is just another kind of bliss; a relishable distress – that can only be understood by experienced devotees, not by others. Śrī Rūpa’s heart is thus absorbed in the flavour of prayer.

he subala! śuniyāchi ei kothā āmi;
yugalera priya narma sakhā hao tumi
vrajera ballaba varya kumāra govinda;
sukumārī śrī rādhikā bhānu kulacandra
navīna yugala pade āmāra vedanā;
nivedana koro tumi koriyā karuṇā
ei vṛndāvana mājhe āmi boḍo duḥkhī
yugala darśana dāne koro mora sukhī

“O Subala! I have heard that you are the dearmost friend of the Divine Pair, the son of Vraja’s greatest cowherd, Śrī Govinda, and the moon of Bhānu’s dynasty, the tender Śrī Rādhikā. Please submit at The lotus-feet of this youthful Couple how much I am suffering. In this Vṛndāvana I am very miserable. Please make me happy by giving me the audience of the Divine Pair!”