Sri Sri Vilapa Kusumanjali, vers 96

tavaivāsmi tavaivāsmi 
na jīvāmi tvayā vinā
iti vijñāya devi tvaṁ
naya māṁ caraṇāntikam

I am Yours, I am Yours! I cannot live without You!
O Devi!  Knowing this, please take me to Your lotus feet!

Explanations:

In the verses of ‘Vilāpa Kusumāñjali’ Śrīla Raghunātha dāsa Gosvāmī perceives his own siddha svarūpa of Tulasī Mañjarī and is simultaneously blessed with transcendental devotional service in Rādhā and Mādhava’s pastimes.

When these visions vanish he greatly laments and prays to Svāminī’s lotus feet for the attainment of these services. In the final nine verses that follow he offers prayers to Svāminī’s lotus feet (in svarūpāveśa), to Śrī Rādhākuṇḍa, to the lotus feet of Śrī Govinda  and to Śrī Viśākhā-sakhī for the fulfillment of his desires. In this verse virahī Raghunātha takes complete shelter of Svāminī’s lotus feet, in order to attain them directly. Śaraṇāgati means ‘taking shelter’ or ‘surrendering oneself’. This is the starting-point of sādhana bhakti; without this one cannot perform any bhajan. The more one surrenders, the more one advances, and the more one advances, the more one’s heart is filled with feelings of surrender. Surrender is the practice and the goal of the devotees and it is their very life-force. It is their perpetual duty.

Only through surrender one can attain prema bhakti and the lotus feet of the Lord. Śrīla Raghunātha dāsa Gosvāmī revealed the highest stage of surrender, which means tadaika jīvana, “my whole life is His”.

“This Tulasī is Yours, Yours! Without You I won’t survive!”

This is the limit of surrender. This anxious self-surrender of Rādhā’s maidservants, filled with feelings of possessiveness, cannot be found in the servanthood for the Supreme Lord. “This Tulasī is Yours!” This ever-so-sweet mahā-vāṇī is filled with the experience of bhajana-rasa. The lives of the mādhurya rasa-devotees are blessed when they hear and chant these great words. How sweetly Tulasī surrenders here, filled with feelings of possessiveness: “This Tulasī is Yours! She cannot live without You!” Just as the bees become attracted to the opening lotus flowers at dawn, similarly the mind of the practising devotee will be attracted to Śrī Rādhikā’s lotus feet after hearing these fragrant honey-like words. Tulasī offers lotus flowers that are sprinkled with the spiritual flavour of love at Śrīmatī’s lotus feet.

piriti rasete ḍhāli, tanu mana diyāchi tuhāri pāya;
tumi mora pati, tumi mora gati, prāṇa āna nāhi cāya

“I have given my body and mind, soaked in the juice of love, to Your lotus feet. You are my master and You are my goal! My heart wants no-one but You!”

How much the eternally perfect maidservants suffer when they are feeling separation from Śrī Rādhā in sādhakāveśa! They cannot live for a moment without Her! They do bhajan themselves and simultaneously attract the eyes of all the practising devotees of the world with their painful eagerness to do bhajan. Through their own activities they have shown how to awaken a feeling of want by doing bhajan.

“Such a relish I don’t get in my life. bhajan makes me happy, therefore I’m doing bhajan, but even in dreams I do not miss Śrī Rādhā!” How eager Śrī Raghunātha is, though!

“With mind and heart I’m telling You – I am Yours! Touching Your feet I swear You that I’m Yours! I cannot live without You. Deprived of Your service I have fallen on the bank of Rādhākuṇḍa! I tell You honestly, I cannot live anymore!”

Śrī Raghunātha can no longer tolerate the pangs of separation from Svāmini. The poison of love-in-separation reaches his throat. His body, mind and life-airs are burning in the fire of separation.
The Gosvāmīs are the embodiments of love-in-separation and Śrīla Raghunātha dāsa Gosvāmi is the best example. dāsa gosvāmīra kathā kohone nā yāya; nirantara dagdha hiyā viraha vyathāya – “Raghunātha Dāsa Gosvāmī is indescribable. His heart always burns in the fire of separation!”

Day and night this great priest of the rāgānugā-sacrifice weeps with tearfilled eyes on the bank of Rādhākuṇḍa, without eating, without sleeping, torn apart by the pangs of great love-in-separation, his heart so anxious to attain Śrī Rādhā’s intimate service. Forgetting everything else, he simply desires the eligibility to serve Śrī Rādhā’s lotus feet – nothing else! How much hope he carries in his heart while taking full shelter of Priyāji’s dearmost place, the bank of Rādhākuṇḍa. How many days, how many months, how many years have passed – still he did not attain the audience and the service of his Prāṇeśvarī. What’s the use of still keeping these life-airs, that are burning in the forestfire of separation, within the physical frame? na jīvāmi tvayā vinā “I cannot live without You!”

Śrīla Raghunātha dāsa Gosvāmī was completely showered by the loving compassion of Śrī Gaurasundara, the embodiment of the flavour love in separation (vipralambha ghana rasa mūrti), and for a long time he was one of the Lord’s most intimate associates in His Gambhīrā-pastimes and a personal witness of these unique pastimes of ecstatic prema. Advanced loving devotees can understand from this Gambhīrā-līlā how sweet the Lord is, how dear He is to the heart and how powerful is the attractiveness of His love.

How many anxious endeavours the devotees make to see Him, and how full of sweet nectar is that silent and motionless swoon of ecstatic love in the end! Even now the loving devotees become unsteady when they are rocked by the high waves of the naturally severe rasa of love-in-separation as they remember this silence in the Gambhīrā-cell.
The following pitiful sound is always entering their ears, breaking the deep silence in the Gambhīrā like the dimmed chirping of a cricket:

kāhā koro kāhā pāo vrajendra-nandana;
kāhā mora prāṇanātha muralī-vadana
kāhāre kohibo ke vā jāne mora duḥkha;
vrajendra-nandana vinā phāṭe mora buka (C.C.)

 “Where shall I go, what shall I do to get Vrajendra-nandana? Where is the flute-playing Lord of My life? Whom shall I tell, who will know of My distress? Without Vrajendra-nandana My heart breaks!”

Raghunātha dāsa is always immersed in this vast ocean of love-in-separation, because he stayed with the Lord for so long in His pastimes in Purī, sticking to Him like His shadow, and the Lord has mercifully infused some of His great loving anxiety in him.

In great anguish Śrī Raghunātha prays to Svāmini’s lotus feet: “How much longer can I live, cast away from Your lotus feet? In this life I’ve never offered myself to anyone else’s lotus feet! Understanding this, please quickly take this fallen maidservant to Your lotus feet now!”

Hearing Raghunātha Dāsa’s anxious cries, all the creatures in and around Rādhākuṇḍa are crying with pity. Śrīla Raghunātha Dāsa has given up eating and sleeping and is crying constantly, his heart burning in the fire of separation. Although he has almost fainted, his lips can still tremble and say: na jīvāmi tvayā vinā – ‘I cannot live without You!’

Śrīla Rasika-Candra Dāsa sings:

jīvane maraṇe niti,             tumi se āmāra gati,
āmi ye tomāri āmi tomāri!
tomā vinā e jīvana,            bujhilām akāraṇa,
bhāra mātra bohi sadā phiri. 

“You are my goal, in life or in death, I am Yours! I am Yours!
I understood that my life is useless without You! I simply wander around carrying this life as a heavy burden!”

ihā jāni devi more,           dāsī aṅgīkāra kore,
nija pāda padme dāo sthāne
se snigdha caraṇa chāyā,              kobe go juḍābe hāya,
dāsīra e tāpita parāṇa? 

“O Goddess, now that You know this, please accept this maidservant! Grant me a place at Your lotus feet! Alas! When will the pleasant shade of Your lotus feet console the afflicted heart of this maidservant?”