Radhe Radhe!

Normally, it is not advised to speak openly on such private subject matter, but alas, since I am one of the evil PRO-KANISTHA-SIDDHA-PRANALI campaigners, I thought it is necessary to reveal my heart.

I have practiced sadhana bhakti since 1989 and from the start I was attracted to the bhava of the maidservants of Srimati Radharani. By looking at and reading about this place and by hearing about its importance that I wanted to somehow “BELONG” to it.

But when I hung up some wonderful photos of Sri Radhakund in my bhakta-armoire in the temple room, I was labelled right there and then as sahajiya number one. I could not care less then, just as I do not care about such accusations now.

In December of 2004, after 15 years of practicing sadhana-bhakti, I met my beloved Gurudeva, Radhakund Mahant Sri Srimat Ananta das Babaji and received diksha mantras from him. A few days later he offered me to give siddha pranali which I wholeheartedly accepted.

So I received the information about my siddha deha from the lotus mouth of Sri Gurudeva along with his instructions on how I should do bhajan.

When testing a disciple’s natural inclinations, Gurudeva observes if he has the exact qualifications for serving in the śṛṅgāra-rasa, and informs him of his siddha-mañjarī-svarūpa (perfected form as a mañjarī) amongst Śrī Lalitā’s associates within Śrī Rādhā’s group. Then he will establish a mutual relationship between the sādhaka’s ekādaśa–bhāva and the sādhya (goal) of aṣṭa-kālīya-līlā. The name of the sādhaka’s siddha–deha, the form, qualities and service will be properly revealed.
(Bhaktivinoda Thakur, Śrī Harinama Cintamani)

So, my Gurudeva knew my history. He looked into my heart and recognized my desire/taste and instructed me accordingly. A true sat guru can recognize these things in a moment of time. And although I am a deeply materialistic person, he bestowed his mercy upon me. Such is the nature of mahatmas…compassion with the fallen souls.

In my “normal life”, I work as a school teacher and I try my utmost best to follow his instructions.

Now, led by a prominent guru of the Gaudiya Math, there is a wave of defamation again towards my beloved Gurudeva, especially with the premise that he reveals the siddha deha too early and to unqualified persons.

Of course, the leader of this campaign never approached my Gurudeva with this matter in person.

The main claim is that the siddha deha should never be revealed at the stage of bhajana kriya, because it would have serious NEGATIVE effects on the life of the sadhaka…

Now, how is it in my life?

I frankly admit that I am not able to SEE or REALIZE my siddha deha. It is not a cheap process and it is never possible to realize the siddha deha with an impure heart.

But is it FORBIDDEN to reveal the information of the siddha deha in the stage of bhajana kriya?
Certainly not.

tatra rāgānugā-mārge’nutpanna-rati-sādhaka-bhaktair api svepsita-siddha-dehaṁ manasi parikalpya bhagavat-sevādikaṁ kriyate | jāta-ratīnāṁ tu svayam eva tad-deha-sphūrtiḥ | asya tūtpannā madhura-jātīyā ratiḥ krameṇānurāga-daśāṁ prāptāsti, atas tad-deha-sphūrtiḥ sadaiva |

There, on the raganuga-path, even the sadhaka bhaktas whose rati/bhava has not yet arisen, mentally conceive of their desired siddha dehas, and thus serve the lord, etc. When rati has arisen, that body is perceived automatically. In the arisen rati of the madhura-kind, one gradually attains the stage of anuraga; then that deha will be always perceived.”
(Srila Krishna das Kaviraja Goswami´s TIKA on “Krishna Karanamritam”, verse 2)

I received my siddha pranali chart (very similar to the one of Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur) and I have my information about my siddha deha right there written in black and white.

The siddha deha is an expansion of the Supreme Lord. It is a manifestation of His inner potency or svarupa sakti.
In fact, the siddha dehas for manjaris are actually expansions of Srimati Radhika.

vaikunthasya bhagavato jyotir-amsa-bhuta vaikuntha-loka-sobha-rupa ya ananta murtayas tatra vartante tasam ekaya saha muktasyaikasya murtir bhagavata kriyata iti vaikuntasya murtir iva murtir yesham ity uktam
(Priti Sandarbha 10)

In the spiritual world, the Supreme Lord has unlimited spiritual forms. They all are expansions of Himself illuminating that world.
With each one of those forms, the Lord enjoys pastimes with a single individual liberated soul.

akara svabhava-bhede vraja-devi-gana
kaya-vyuha-rupa tanra rasera karana
( CC 1.1.79)

The multitude of Vraja-gopis have various natures (svabhava). They are the forms of Her bodily expansions (kaya-vyuha-rupa) and Her instruments for creating rasa.

In the spiritual world, the name and the one who owns the name are non-different.

Krishna´s name is not different from Him, Radhika´s name is not different from Her.
By meditation on Their names, Their forms will be revealed to us.

First is the name, then the qualities, then the form and the pastimes (nama, guna, rupa, lila).

This is also the recommended sequence Sri Jiva Goswamipad tells us to meditate upon. First we start with the name, then everything gradually unfolds (Bhakti Sandarbha).

Now, the siddha deha is an expansion of the Lord (or of Radhika) as written by Sri Jiva Goswamipad.

I received the name and the other information (ekadasa bhavas) from the lotus mouth of my Gurudeva to whom it was revealed by Krishna.

So, like mentioned, the name and the named are non-different in Goloka Vrindavana.

If I see the name of my siddha deha and if I meditate and remember and read and hear that name, the form of that particular siddha deha will reveal itself too.
There is no difference between my manjari-name and my manjari-form.
It starts right there.

If I meditate on my SIDDHA DEHA-qualities, on my complexion (form), dress, etc…this meditation purifies my impure mind and the purer the heart gets by sadhana-bhakti (hearing and chanting, etc…), the more this siddha deha will be revealed in my heart.

siddha-rūpeṇaantaś-cintitābhīṣṭa-tat-sevopayogi-dehena
(in both the tikas of Srila Jiva Goswami and Srila Vishvanatha Cakravartipad Thakur to Bhakti Rasamrita Sindhu 1.2.295)

“In the siddha-form means in an internally conceived, desired body suitable for His service.”

siddha-rupena manas-cintita-svabhishta-tat-sevopayogi-dehena
(tika by Sri Mukunda Goswami to Bhakti Rasamrita Sindhu 1.2.295)

“In the siddha-form means in a mentally conceived, desired body suitable for His service.”

Artificial “imagining” will not suffice.

I am not yet at this stage, fully admitted.

But siddha pranali is a SADHANA, a long process of REALIZATION and it has to start somewhere.
It starts with receiving the information through the ears and seeing the information with my eyes on a written paper.
Since it is a sadhana, it is automatically in the stage of bhajana kriya, since it is a part of the entire complex of devotional activities that begin with diksha and archana, which has as its central feature meditation on the Yoga Pitha, i.e., Mantramayi upasana. Because it is mantra-mayi upasana, it is discussed in this context, but its application goes on further into the svarasiki upasana.
The Yoga Pith meditation is the seed of the latter.

That is what such visualizations in meditation are for. Become divine to worship the divine. That is the meaning of bhuta-shuddhi in the vaidhi path of archan also.
This is why Jiva Goswami says that the highest limit of bhuta-shuddhi is contemplation of one’s siddha deha.

Of course it needs purity to finally BE that siddha deha and before the stage of ASAKTI, it is a very difficult process, but certainly the starting point is not ASAKTI.

We can read in the Prema Bhakti Chandrika:

yugala carana sevi, nirantara ei bhavi, anuragi thakibo sadaya |
sadhane bhavibe yaha, siddha dehe pabe taha, raga marge ei sei upaya ||
(PBC 55)

With attachment, I will always serve the feet of Sri Yugala, remaining attached to them forever. Whatever I think of during sadhana I will attain in siddha-deha; such is the means on the path of raga.

sadhane ye dhana cai, siddha-dehe taha pai, pakkapakka matra se vicara |
apakke sadhana-riti, pakile se prema-bhakti, bhakati-lakshana tattva-sara ||
(PBC 56)

The treasure I covet during my sadhana I will attain in my siddha-deha; It is merely a matter of ripe or raw. The stage of sadhana is unripe, and the stage of prema is ripe. This is the essential truth on the characteristics of bhakti.

Of course, my impure mind prevents me from realizing this siddha deha, but by the process of bhakti (ceto darpana marjanam…), this contemplation will finally reach its perfection by guru-kripa, as long as it may take.

If it is impossible to meditate on a spiritual object with a material mind, then why do we have images of Radha and Krishna? Instructions of how to meditate on Them?

It is a transformation by purification…. Someone painted these images, not? Someone carved the deities according to INSTRUCTIONS written on paper or received in deep meditation either by oneself or by Gurudeva or an advanced sadhu.

So, yes, it is very difficult for a male sadhaka to contemplate on a female manjari form. But by the mercy and by the instructions on bhajan from Si Gurudeva, everything is possible.

Some claim that to reveal this information is harmful.
How can something so divine and pure be harmful?

If madhura rasa is a good thing, it will, like ALL aspects of the Divine Truth, have an auspicious effect. When the Holy Name introduces us to Madhura Rasa, then Madhura Rasa will have an auspicious effect.

Ultimately, it is entirely up to Sri Gurudeva when the time is right to reveal the information of the siddha deha and it may vary from parivar to parivar, from Guru to Guru. But in the end, why even bother about it?

If you don´t want to receive siddha pranali, no problem.

There are at least three ways the siddha deha can be revealed: Krishna directly, the Holy Name and Sri Gurudeva.

And by the way, it is not that we KANISTHA-SIDDHA-PRANALIS don´t chant. We too rely fully on the power of the Holy Name.

On the path of raganuga-bhakti, meditating on the divine pastimes is the main sadhana, however in the primary stage we are not qualified for lila-smaran (meditation on the pastimes). Therefore, we should concentrate more on hearing, chanting and following the other rules of bhakti. Then as our consciousness gets more and more purified, we are drawn towards lila-smaran. Slowly our smaran becomes more intense. Ultimately when we reach the zenith of bhajan, lila-smaran naturally becomes the major part of bhajan.
(Srila Ananta das Babaji)

Hearing and chanting are the main items of our bhajan.

Stick to your own bhajan.
Be strict with yourself and lenient with others. I learnt this the hard way.

Nothing good comes from fault-finding.

I too did that and it ruined my bhajan. I too tried to discredit the “others” only to find myself at the bottom again…

But back to another essential question.

How to apply all this in our “normal” daily life?

It is not and has never been a matter of “outer” circumstances. It is and has always been a matter of internal consciousness.

Spiritual life means what? We are doing sadhana-bhakti every morning for 1 – 3 hours, and then we fall in “maya” and are “disconnected”?

If we decide to actually do this, then yes, we are really deprived of the mercy of Sriman Mahaprabhu.

We certainly should do our best to be able to engage in our sadhana-bhakti in the morning, but only with one goal:

To stay connected to spiritual life the WHOLE day.
Like plugging our batteries into the electricity-current.
We are then fully charged for the whole day.
But how to see our regular, daily material life in the context of spirituality?

In my humble case, I am a teacher at school and every morning I am off to work after a certain amount of time used for my daily bhajan.
So I have to teach young kids stuff for about 6 hours and of course, I am not teaching them bhakti-yoga.
So how can my daily activity still be seen in a spiritual light?
It all depends on our consciousness. How do we actually perceive “the world”?

It is not like this: Here is spiritual life and over there is material life.
It is not black and white.
It is about how I perceive the material world and how I deal with it.

Manjari-bhava means essentially DASYAM. We can check our consciousness with this thermometer. Are we in “service” mode? Do we GIVE? Are we in “enjoyer” mode? Do we WANT?

As manjaris, we should always think that we are together with Radhika, even in the midst of so-called mundane activities.

One time a great sadhu was seen walking to a water faucet where he filled a container with water.

“You all think that here is an old man, getting some water. But actually, I am fetching water for my Swamini Radhika.”

So we can see that all is dependent on our inner consciousness.

How deep are we in bodily consciousness?
How deep are we in soul-consciousness?

Trying to become manjaris of Srimati Radhika, we start to meditate on our manjari form.

We start to think about what actually happens “there”?
What is our role “there”? We start reading about the lilas of the Divine Couple, contemplating our own spiritual self as being right there with Them.

But how to “reconcile” these high aspirations with our regular daily life? When we are working in our jobs?

I am not able to see my work-space as a nikunja of Vraja and I can´t see my work-people as fellow manjaris, serving the Divine Couple. And this is fully alright.

To reconcile this seemingly big gap between our “mediations” and our “daily life”, we need to first develop our inner bhakti.

Step by step we will progress under the guidance of our Gurudeva and we will imbue slowly the feelings of the eternal manjaris of Radhika.
They are our role models and as we progress and as our inner emotions become more and more similar to theirs, we can start to act accordingly.
We can then REALLY see our daily life as fully spiritual. Our actions will be done with love.

What actually is the glory of manjari-bhava? What is the excellence of that precious consciousness?

Humility.

We follow our Gurudeva and we learn to become humble.

The love of the manjaris is the most brilliant and SELFLESS love. They want NOTHING for themselves. They only want to give.

This material world is like a training ground. Here we can try to practice this love.
Here we can try to be in their mood: to always give and to expect nothing in return.
We can learn to forget our ego-bhava. We can see ourselves as servants of EVERYONE.

Love-in-action will be our motto.

Always being comforted in the knowing, that my Gurudeva and my Swamini are my only shelter.
May the waves of the ocean of this world be as high as ever,
I will always be sure that I am loved by my Gurudeva and by my Swamini.

To know who I am, although still VERY theoretical, gives me a profound sense of BELONGING. It helps me very much just to know that I AM THIS OTHER PERSON…

To know who my guru-varga is in Vraja-lila strengthens this sense of belonging.

To be able to always remember this other identity, even for example during a bus ride, purifies the mind and takes away this utter material anxiety.

And to read and hear about the pastimes of Sri Sri Radha and Krishna, and to try to imagine that you are THERE with THEM, this gives profound joy, security and reassurance, no matter how poor this contemplation is.

And to chant the Holy Name with such a sense of identification is very helpful.

We always have to know one single thing:

EVERYTHING happens by mercy.

We always should pray for the mercy of Sri Gurudeva and the Vaishnavas.
We always should try to not offend anyone, also in our “daily life”.
Then the mercy will flow. Always.

Sometimes there are so-called “set-backs” or little “time-outs”, but we should always have the goal in front of our eyes:
Krishna-prema, in the mood of Radhika´s maidservants.