Isn´t it absolutely wonderful how merciful Krishna is towards us insignificant souls?

My Gurudeva once said that attaining the siddha deha is the most wonderful gift awarded to us by Sri Krishna.

“…but according to the feelings the soul develops, it will attain a purely transcendental body”
(from Svetasvatara Upanisad)

How utterly beautiful. It is our love, our developed bhava towards the Divine Couple which is the deciding factor in attaining a certain siddha deha.

And like always, everything happens by mercy.

I remember my humble case.
By the mercy of Srila AC Bhaktivedanta Swami I came into contact with Krishna consciousness. I moved into an ISKCON temple in 1990 and joined a bhakta-program.

One of the first books I received was “The Nectar of Instructions”. I think it has on the back cover a wonderful photo of Sri Radhakund…

I read this excellent book and I knew immediately that I want to follow the essence of all advice…I knew that I wanted to develop the same love the gopis have for Sri Sri Radha Krishna.

Srila AC Bhaktivedanta Swami writes in that nectar book:

—Thus of all the devotees who have developed unalloyed devotional love for Krishna, the gopis are most exalted, and out of all these exalted gopis, Srimati Radharani is the highest. No one can excel the devotional service of Srimati Radharani. Indeed, evenKrishna cannot understand the attitude of Srimati Radharani; therefore He took Her position and appeared as Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, just to understand Her transcendental feelings.

In this way Srila Rupa Gosvami gradually concludes that Srimati Radharani is the most exalted devotee of Krishna and that Her kunda (lake), Sri Radha-kunda, is the most exalted place. This is verified in a quotation from Laghu-bhagavatamrita (Uttara-khanda 45), as quoted in Caitanya-caritamrita:

yatha radha priya vishnos
tasyah kundam priyam tatha
sarva-gopishu saivaika
vishnor atyanta-vallabha

“Just as Srimati Radharani is dear to the Supreme Lord Krishna [Vishnu], so Her bathing place [Radha-kunda] is equally dear to Krishna. Among all the gopis, She alone stands supreme as the Lord’s most beloved.”

Therefore everyone interested in Krishna consciousness should ultimately take shelter of Radha-kunda and execute devotional service there throughout one’s life. This is the conclusion of Rupa Gosvami in the tenth verse of Upadesamrita.—

I was utterly impressed and I immediately bought a nice photo of Sri Radhakund in the temple shop and put on the inside of my bhakta-armoire so that I can look at it every day, applying tilak for example.
But of course, these feelings were the feelings of a neophyte, but from that day on I always felt a thirst to hear about Radha and Krishna in Vrindavana…

This is exactly what Rupa Goswami writes in BRS. 1.2.292

“When one hears about the sweetness of their feelings and so forth, and a desire for attaining the same awakens in the consciousness without dependence on scripture and logic, this is a symptom of the awakening of greed (lobha).”

I always loved it when there were lectures about Radha and Krishna in Vrindavana, but unfortunately there were not THAT many…

But my desire to immerse myself in the pastimes of Vrindavana grew more and more.

Looking back from nowadays, I realize that this desire was always in my heart and I still feel Swamiji´s mercy and guidance which led me to my Gurudeva who lives at the aforementioned Radhakund.

All this happens by the mercy of Krishna and the devotees.

Again Srila Rupa Goswami, BRS 1.2.309:

“The mercy of Krsna and His devotees is the only cause of attaining raganuga-bhakti . Some call this type of devotion pusti-marga.”

Srila AC Bhaktivedanta Swami was very cautious when talking or writing about the siddha deha.

First of all, check the setting of his arrival place in the US.

He could never have started with pure raganuga bhakti amongst all the hippie culture…and secondly, when he was young, in the 1920 – 30´s and before that too, a lot of bad things were happening in the name of “raganuga” and “siddha deha”…

But certainly he was very well aware of this most wonderful gift of Sri Krishna, the siddha deha.

There are many wonderful passages which go very deep in those subject matters (“Teachings of Lord Caitanya”, just to name a title…).

And many wonderful disciples of him fully understood Srila AC Bhaktivedanta Swami´s heart:
He never wanted his disciples to NEVER READ ANTHING BUT HIM. He wanted to take them by the hands and make the journey through the previous acaryas together, under his shelter.

And those who dare to start this journey will recognize how everything is in perfect sync.

“…but according to the feelings it develops it will attain a purely transcendental body”

It is all “out there” in the shastras. We are RUPANUGAS, we follow Srila Rupa Goswami. And so did Srila AC Bhaktivedanta Swami.

After we decide where we want to “end up” (prayojana-tattva) and what our goal and destination is, we must endeavor to reach that goal.

We want to develop certain feelings to attain a certain siddha deha and Krishna most mercifully agrees to award us with a siddha deha according to our desired love:

Srila Jiva Goswami writes in his Priti- sandarbha 10

vaikuṇṭhasya bhagavato jyotir-aṁśa-bhūtā vaikuṇṭha-loka-śobha-rūpā yā anantā mūrtayas tatra vartante tāsām ekayā saha muktasyaikasya mūrtir bhagavatā kriyata iti vaikuṇṭasya mūrtir iva mūrtir yeṣām ity uktam

“In the spiritual world, the Supreme Lord has unlimited spiritual forms. They all are expansions of Himself illuminating that world. Bhagavān awards each liberated soul with such a mūrti. Their mūrti is like the one of the Lord of Vaikuṇṭha.”

In my case, I wanted to develop the love of the gopis. So, how to proceed?

Srila Rupa Goswami comes to aid in BRS 1.2.295:

“Following after the inhabitants of Vraja, one should perform service in one’s physical body and in one’s siddha body, with a desire for a particular bhāva.”

Again – with a desire for a particular bhava. Each of us is different, each of us may want to desire a particular bhava…I decided early on I wanted the bhava of Radhika´s maidservants. So how to do this?

I found 4 acaryas who recommend in unison:

Srila Jiva Goswami:

“Siddha-rūpa refers to the body which is suitable for one’s desired service, and which has been developed by internal meditation (antaś-cintitābhīṣṭa).”

Srila Vishvanatha Cakravartipada:

“One performs service with sādhaka-rūpa—the present body—and with the siddha-rūpa—the body which is suitable for serving Vraja Kṛṣṇa in the particular type of  rati or bhāva one desires, and which is meditated upon (antaś-cintitābhīṣṭa) through inner contemplation with a desire for a particular rati directed to one’s beloved Kṛṣṇa situated in Vṛndāvana (tad–bhāva-lipsunā).”

Srila Krishna das Kaviraja:

“There, on the raganuga-path, even the sadhaka bhaktas whose rati/bhava has not yet arisen, mentally conceive of their desired siddha dehas, and thus serve the lord, etc. 
When rati has arisen, that body is perceived automatically. In the arisen rati of the madhurya-kind, one gradually attains the stage of anuraga; then that deha will be always perceived.”
– TIKA on “Krishna Karanamritam”

Srila Narottama das Thakur:

 “The treasure I desire as a practitioner I will get when I attain my spiritual body; it’s just a question of being ripe or unripe. The ripe stage is the stage of pure loving devotion and the unripe stage is the stage of practice. That is the essential truth about devotional principles.” (56)
– Prema Bhakti Chandrika

But in the unripe stage, where the mind is still full of bhogus stuff, how to meditate on such a form?

Srila Narottama das Thakura Mahasaya writes in his Prema-bhakti-candrika:

sakhinam sangini-rupam atmanam vasanamayim 
ajna-seva-param tat-tad-rupalankara-bhushitam 

“One should meditate on oneself in a form that is a female associate of the sakhis, engaged in services on their command, decorated by Her ornaments.”

Sri Visvanatha Cakravartipada comments in his tika as follows:

“Sakhinam – One should think of himself as a female associate of sakhis such as Sri Lalita, Sri Rupa Manjari and others. In which way?

Ajna-sevaparam – Serving Sri Radha-Madhava with their consent and according to their orders. And again, in which way?

Tat-tad rupalankara bhushitam – Decorated with an exquisite form captivating the mind of Sri Krishna and the left-over ornaments of Sri Radhika; in service, ornamented with the left-over flower garlands. Thus it is said. And again, in which way?

Vasanamayim – Seeing oneself in contemplation in this capacity; and so forth.”

Shiva instructs Narada Muni:

“Śrī Hari’s beloved damsels in Vraja, who have the sentiments of parakīya-bhāva towards Him, please the darling of their hearts with profuse moods of divya-prema.

He Nārada! You should contemplate your ātma-svarūpa in the following manner. You are a kiśorī (pre-adolescent) gopī and you reside in the very heart of transcendental Vṛndāvana, amidst the beloved damsels of Kṛṣṇa, who are endowed with paramour sentiment for Him. You have a charming youthful form, and enchanting, intoxicating beauty.

You are accomplished in many fine arts for Śrī Kṛṣṇa’s pleasure. Yet even if Kṛṣṇa earnestly requests to meet with you, you are ever averse to pleasure unrelated to the pleasure of your Svāminī.

You are the maids ervant of Śrī Kṛṣṇa’s most beloved consort Śrīmatī Rādhikā, and are wholly and exclusively dedicated to Her sevā. You always have more prema for Śrī Rādhikā than for Śrī Kṛṣṇa.

Everyday with much endeavor you arrange for the youthful couple’s meeting, and remain forever content with the ecstatic bliss of Their service.

Thus, while conceiving of your ātma-svarūpa in this particular way, you should painstakingly render mānasi sevā in transcendental Vṛndāvana from brāhma-muhūrta to the end of niśānta-līlā (pastimes at night’s end).”
(from Jaiva Dharma)

So, at least we can start at one point with our identification and move on from there, while purifying our existence through sadhana bhakti.

“Thereupon one purifies his existence by contemplating on his own desired bhagavat-seva (service to the Lord) and a parshada-deha (associate-form) suitable for such service; thus one engages in the desired service for his own auspiciousness. Thus, wherever one is, he should engage in meditating on the form of his own desired devata and in the future attain the status of an associate of his.”
– Bhakti-sandarbha 286

In the beginning therefore, we should concentrate more on hearing, chanting and following the other rules of bhakti. Then, as our consciousness gets more and more purified, we are drawn towards meditating on the lilas.
Slowly our meditation becomes more intense.
Ultimately when we reach the zenith of bhajan, lila-meditation naturally becomes the major part of bhajan.

The very nature of the mind is rāga (attachment, passion), and hence mental worship is the root cause of rāgānugā bhajana.

Still the external practice of hearing and chanting must not be neglected or given up— this is to be noted specifically. The perfection of allegiance to the Vraja-people cannot be achieved by giving up external practices like hearing and chanting.

As much as the external practices like hearing and chanting nourish the internal practice of meditation, that much the internal practice also awakens taste for external practices. Since they nourish each other equally, efforts to fix one’s mind on līlā smaraṇa without taking shelter of external practices will not become fruitful. And again, efforts to perform only external practices without practising līlā smaraṇa cannot be called rāgānugā mārga’s bhajana. Hence both are required.

So we hear about the pastimes of Radha and Krishna in Vrindavana. We become interested.
We develop a desire to imbibe a certain bhava of an eternal Vrajavasi. We practice bhakti accordingly (as Srila Rupa Goswami recommended), internally and externally.

All should be done under the guidance of Sri Gurudeva, who acts as a transparent medium and who is the personified mercy to attain our goal.

And after a certain time, we approach him with our innermost desire:

Srila Thakur Bhaktivinoda summarizes the process of receiving the information about the siddha deha from Sri Gurudeva as follows:

sādhaker jokhon rāganugā mārga lobha hoy, tokhon
sad-gurur nikaṭa prārthanā korile tini sādhaker
ruci parīkṣā koriyā tāhār bhajan nirṇoyer
saṅge saṅge siddha-deher paricaya koriyā diben.

When the sadhaka’s lobha for raganuga bhakti is awakened, he approaches his gurudeva with great humility and ask for instruction. If he does so, the bonafide guru first examines the disciple’s taste and then, along with devising the appropriate bhajan introduces him to his own siddha identity.
(Śrī Caitanya-śikṣāmṛta)

It is not that Sri Gurudeva “makes up” or “fantasizes about” a certain siddha deha. Like Thakur Bhaktivinod writes, Sri Gurudeva introduces us to it.
The siddha deha is our most precious gift from Sri Krishna. Sri Gurudeva only “transmits” the information to the sadhaka.

And if Sri Gurudeva is not physically present anymore, Sri Guru-tattva has many mysterious ways to work…like through an advanced sadhu in the same mood…even Krishna Himself can come to help, in His form as the Holy Name for example…

“…but according to the feelings it develops it will attain a purely transcendental male or female body”

This is the secret of our bhajan. This is our “job” – to develop these transcendental feelings, to become fixed in these loving emotions (bhavas) in which ever rasa the soul desires.

This is only possible by the mercy of Sri Krishna and the Vaishnavas.

We should always pray to be in their shelter and have sadhu-sanga with a humble mind.

trinad api sunicena taror iva sahishnuna
amanina manadena kirtaniyah sada harih

“The holy name of Lord Hari should always be chanted in great humility.
One should think oneself to be lower than a blade of grass, one should be as tolerant as a tree,
one must offer all honour to others and one should never expect any honour for oneself.”

Dandavat pranams.

May all attain the goal of their developed feelings – the siddha deha, individually desired for.