VERSE 13:

ŚAŚAKABHṚD ABHISĀRE NETRA-BHṚṄGĀÑCALĀBHYĀṀ
DIŚI VIDIŚI BHAYENODGHŪRṆITĀBHYĀṀ VANĀNI
KUVALAYADALA KOṢĀṆY EVA KLṚPTĀNI YĀBHYĀṀ
KIM U KILA KALANĪYO DEVI TĀBHYĀṀ JANO’YAM

O my Goddess! When You go out to meet Kṛṣṇa in the moonlit night Your eyes fearfully move in all directions, like bumblebees turning the whole forest into blue lotus petal-interiors. Is this person not to be seen by these eyes? 

Commentary by Srila Ananta das Babaji, Radha Kunda Mahanta:

Every verse of Vilāpa Kusumāñjali shows the sweetness of Śrīla Raghunātha Dāsa Gosvāmī’s love for Śrīmatī Rādhikā.

The sweetness of each of Her limbs constantly causes a stir in his heart. Although he is eternally liberated, he still relishes the sweetness of devotion-in-practice. That shows how relishable devotion is, even in the stage of practice (sādhanā bhakti), and that some prema is already present even in that initial stage.

There is sādhana bhakti, bhāva bhakti and prema bhakti and they are qualitatively included in each other, although each stage is quantitatively superior to the previous. If it were not so, then how could the desire to relish rasa awaken in the heart of the eternally perfect devotees? Their quality of prema will also exist to some extent in a practising devotee who follows them. The savour that comes from sādhana removes all consciousness of the external world and all external endeavours will then be connected with the heart’s eagerness to attain the beloved deity.

Thirst for loving devotion is the very life-force of sādhana, and if one performs one’s sādhana well this thirst will surely awaken. How eager a person like me is for sense-gratification! Even in my dreams I see only sense-objects! Those who do bhajana will think only of their beloved deity.

Śrīla Visvanātha Cakravartī describes the effect of prema on a loving devotee’s heart as follows:

tataś cāsya bhaktajanasyātmātmīya gṛha vittādiṣu śata sahasraśo bhavatyo yāś citta vṛttayo mamatā rajjubhis teṣu teṣu nibaddha eva pūrvamāsan tā eva citta vṛttīḥ sarvā eva tatas tato’vahelayaivonmocya sva śaktyā māyikīr api tā mahā rasakūpa spṛśyamāna padārtha mātrāṇīva sākāra cidānanda jyotirmayīkṛtya tābhir eva mamatābhiḥ sarvābhis tatas tato vicitābhiḥ sva śaktyaiva tathābhūtī kṛtābhiḥ śrī bhagavad rūpa nāma guṇa mādhuryeṣu yo nibadhnāti so’yaṁ prema mahā kiraṇamālīva udayiṣyamāna eva nikhila puruṣārtha nakṣatra maṇḍalīḥ sahasaiva vilāpayati –

“In the stage of sādhanā the devotee is still bound by hundreds of thousands of ropes of possessiveness towards possessions, money, family and friends, but when prema appears these ropes will easily become spiritualised and will tightly bind the devotee to the beauty of the Lord’s transcendental forms, qualities and pastimes. prema rises like the sun, making the darkness of ignorance and the stars of all other human pursuits fade from the sky of the heart.” In any good life of sādhana there must be some experience like this.

“How many things don’t I always miss in my life, but I never miss Rādhārāṇī! My mind is absorbed in thinking of sense-objects, I am not enthusiastic to do bhajana and I don’t experience how insignificant this world is. I could not establish a sweet relationship with Rādhārāṇī – what kind of a devotee am I?”

A practising devotee should rebuke himself like that. When taste for bhajana awakens, the material world seems like a burning forest-fire and the devotee weeps for want of the service of his beloved deity.

Śrīla Narottama Dāsa Ṭhākura sings:

hā hā prabhu koro doyā karuṇā sāgara;
michā māyā jāle tanu dahiche āmāra kobe heno daśā hobe sakhī saṅga pābo;
vṛndāvane phula gāṅthi doṅhāke porābo sanmukhe rohiyā kobe cāmara ḍhulābo;
aguru candana gandha doṅhe aṅge dibo sakhīra ājñāya kobe tāmbūla yogābo;
sindūra tilaka kobe doṅhāke porābo vilāsa kautuka keli dekhibo nayane;
candra-mukha nirakhibo bosāye siṁhāsane sadā se mādhurī dekhi manera lālase;
koto dine hobe dayā narottama dāse

“O Lord! O ocean of mercy! My body burns in the false network of māyā! When will I attain the company of the sakhīs, string flower garlands in Vṛndāvana and hang them around Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa’s necks (being a mañjarī) ? I will stand before Them and fan Them with a yaktail fan, and I will anoint Their limbs with aguru and sandalwood-scents. On the order of the sakhīs I will serve Them betel leaves and I will decorate Them with tilaka and sindūra. I will witness Their moonlike faces as They play Their funny pastimes and I will seat Them on a lion-throne. When will the day come that Narottama dāsa sees these sweet pastimes? My mind yearns for Their mercy!”
(Prārthanā)

When life is full of devotion there will never be a lack of prema. viṣayāntarair anavacchedyā tātparyāntaram asahamānā (Prīti Sandarbha) – “Devotion is not interrupted by other things and cannot tolerate ulterior motives.”

If, by the grace of Śrī Guru, sacred greed awakens in the heart of the aspirant, he will surely gain such relish. bhajana means to seek. The practising devotee feels as if he has fallen away from his beloved deity, and he will cry out: “O Rādhe! where are You?”

Every individual soul is qualified to become Rādhikā’s maidservant; this is the great, rare gift of Śrīman Mahāprabhu.

“Śrī Rādhā is the embodiment of mahā bhāva, will māyā drag me away from Her? O Rādhe! Will I be lashed by māyā, being Your maidservant?”

In this way the heart will be squashed. Can Svāminī ignore the eager prayer of someone who has given up everything for Her sake? Taking Śyāma by the hand, She will come to witness the devotee’s loving activities. bhaktera prema ceṣṭā dekhi kṛṣṇera camatkāra (C.C.) – “Kṛṣṇa is astonished when He sees the loving endeavours of His devotees.”

The Lord is the relisher of bhakti-rasa, the honey of devotion.
He told Arjuna:

patraṁ puṣpaṁ phalaṁ toyaṁ yo me bhaktyā prayacchati tad ahaṁ bhakty upahṛtam aśnāmi prayatātmanaḥ yat karoṣi yad aśnāsi yaj juhoṣi dadāsi yat yat tapasyasi kaunteya tat kuruṣva mad arpaṇam –  “I will eat any offering of leaves, flowers, fruits and water which anyone may offer to Me with love. O son of Kunti! Whatever you do, whatever you eat, whatever you sacrifice, whatever you give in charity and whatever penance you may perform – dedicate it all to Me!”
(Bhagavad Gītā, 9.26-27)

The devotee is also very eager to attain the Lord’s merciful glance. How sweet is the relation between the devotee and the Lord!

When Śrī Raghunātha dāsa speaks this verse he sees a sweet pastime with his spiritual eyes. He sees himself as Tulasī Mañjarī, dressing up Śvāminī for Her rendez-vous in the moonlit night. To camouflage Her she has to dress Her up in fitting clothes and ornaments, so she dresses Her in a swan-like white sārī, anoints Her body with white sandal-paste and ornaments Her with pearls and diamonds, so that it seems as if Svāminī merges with the moonlight.

ki kohobo rāika hari anurāga; niravadhi manahi manobhava jāga sahaje rucira tanu sāji koto bhāti; abhisaru śārada pūnamika rāti dhavala vasana tanu candana pūra; aruṇa adhare dharu viṣada kapūra kavarī upore karu kunda vithāra; kaṇṭhe vilambita motima hāra kairave jhāṁpalo karatala kāṅti; malayaja candana balayako pāṅti cāndaki kaumudī tanu nahe cina; yaichana kṣīra nīra nahe bhina chāyā vairī na choḍalo bāda; caraṇe śaraṇa koru yāminī ādha; gopāla dāsa kohe – sucatura gorī; nūpura rasana tuli mukha purī  – “What can I say about Rāi’s passionate love for Hari? Cupid is constantly awaking in Her mind! Her body is naturally shining with beauty, and She goes out on rendez-vous in a full moon night in autumn. Her body is draped in a white dress, instead of Her usual blue one, and anointed with white sandalwood pulp. She puts white camphor-lipstick on Her red lips, Her braid is beautified with a garland of Kunda-flowers and a pearl necklace hangs and oscillates on Her neck. A white Kairava-lotus is placed in Her handpalm and rows of sandalwood-spots are made on Her jewelled bangles. In this way She cannot be distinguished anymore, just as the moonlight cannot be distinguished from the moon and water can no longer be distinguished from the milk it is poured into. The shadow, that accompanies every embodied soul in the moonlight or in the sunlight as an inseparable enemy, can not harm Her anymore, for the night has already surrendered to Her, saying: “Allright, for You there won’t be any shadow anymore!”

Gopāla dāsa further sings: “Thus clever Gorī (golden Rādhikā) goes out, loosening the strings of Her anklebells (so that their jingling will not betray Her).”

Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī has written in Ujjvala Nīlamaṇi: lajjayā sāṅga-līneva niḥśabdākhila maṇḍanā kṛtāvaguṇṭhā snigdhaika sakhī yuktā priyaṁ vrajet – “It is as if the girl merges with Her own shyness. She has stifled all of her ornaments and covered herself with her veil as she goes on abhisāra with her loving girlfriends.”

Svāminī holds Tulasī’s hand and follows her on the forest path, fearfully looking here and there and saying:

“Tulasi! I have no other shelter but you! Take me with you!”

Her beautiful glances make the forest of Vṛndāvana even more beautiful than the carefully protected inner petals of a newly opened blue lotus flower. The wonderful beauty of Her eyes are as if awakening a flood of beauty on the chest of the environment’s natural beauty.

Svāminī is afraid, but Tulasī encourages Her, saying: “Come, come! Why are You afraid? I am here with You!”

Svāminī looks at Tulasī, who makes Her fearless. She feels consoled and silently walks on. Tulasī is Svāminī’s shelter. Blessed is this maidservant, that she can render such service! She provides shelter to Svāminī, who is the shelter of Śrī Govinda, who is again the shelter of the whole world!

Tulasī says: “I will bring You into the hands of He who eagerly sits down, hoping to meet You!”

How incomparibly beautiful is the heart of this maidservant!

“How unfortunate I am that I am deprived of this nectarean rādhā-dāsya, although I know everything about it! I always identify myself with my material body and I never think of myself as Rādhā’s maidservant. I’m simply mad after profit, adoration and distinction! Mercy is the only hope!”

Tulasī takes Svāminī along, making Her fearless.

pūrati manoratha gati anivāra; gurukula kaṇṭaka ki koroye pāra surata śiṅgāra kiriti sama bhāsa; milali nikuñje koho govinda dāsa –  “The course of the fulfillment of desires cannot be stopped. Can the thorny thicket in the form of Her superiors be crossed?” Govinda dāsa says: “She shines like the personified splendor of eros’ fame and glory as She meets Govinda in the nikuñja.”
(Pada Kalpataru)

Tulasī enters the trysting-kuñja with Śrī Rādhā, who is dressed in white, like the fame and glory of the ornamentation of amorous enjoyment. Śyāma is eagerly waiting and he floats in an ocean of rasa when He sees Tulasī and Svāminī coming.

Holding Svāminī’s hand, Tulasī says: “A moonlit night! Fear of superiors! Day-like illumination! With unlimited expertise I have brought Your Sukumārī (tender girl) here! Here! Take Your beloved!”, and places Svāminī’s hand in Kṛṣṇa’s hand.

As Śrī Raghunātha dāsa stretches out his hand, he doesn’t catch anything anymore. The revelation has disappeared and he begins to lament: “Alas, O Svāmini! When will that boundlessly sweet glance of Yours become visible to my eyes?”

Raghunātha’s life-airs reach his throat when he feels this agony of love-in-separation.

Śrī Rasika-Candra Dāsa sings: hāya devi! kobe hobe sudina emon śārada purṇimā nisi, jyotsnā plāvita diśi, abhisāre koribe gamana –  “Alas, O devi! When will that blessed day be mine when You will go out to meet Kṛṣṇa in the fullmoon autumn-night, which is inundated by moonlight?”

mone boḍo bhaya pāi, diśi diśi neharāi, netra bhṛṅga hoibe cañcala cāhite nayana kone, śyāmala śrī vṛndāvane, vikaśibe kuvalaya dala –  “You are very much afraid at heart and Your restless bee-like eyes move in all directions. While You look at bluish Śrī Vṛndāvana from the corners of Your eyes the Kuvalaya-lotus petals begin to blossom.”

se kṛpā kaṭāksa kaṇe, kobe e dāsīra pāne, cāhibe go nija karuṇāya ei se sukhera sāra, ihā vinā kichu āra, nāhi cāi tuyā rāṅgā pāy – “When will You mercifully cast a drop of Your glance at this maidservant? That is the quintessence of happiness! I don’t want anything else but Your lotus feet!”