ayi nanda-tanuja kinkaram
patitam mam vishame bhavambudhau
kripaya tava pada pankaja
sthita dhulisadrisam vicintaya

O Son of Maharaja Nanda (Krishna)! I have fallen into the terrible ocean of material existence. Please consider me to be a speck of dust attached to Your lotus feet!

The ocean of Sriman Mahaprabhu’s humility swelled up once more, and considering Himself to be a soul bound up by the maya of material existence, He recited this fifth verse. This kind of humility is the limit of divine manifestation and the Lord showed it to teach all the conditioned souls as He came down the staircase of His compassion.
The more the living entities head towards the highest truth and bliss through renunciation and worship, the more their existence as individual souls becomes magnified, and similarly the more the Supreme Lord descends to the platform of falsehood, bondage and misery (out of compassion for the fallen, conditioned souls) the more His Godhood becomes magnified. There is nothing in this world which can make the waves of the Lord’s transcendental desires rise so high as the love of His devotees, and because of this He descends more and more down the staircase of His compassion.

In Srimad Bhagavata we can see that the Original Personality of Godhead, Sri Vrajendranandana, was stealing and eating butter and yoghurt from the houses of the cowherds and cowherdesses. When does a human being commit theft? As soon as he is very greedy after something and he cannot get that thing through the normal channels, his intense greed then takes his intelligence and his sense of discriminiation away and he steals it. Although Krishna is eternally satisfied in Himself, He was so much captured by the love of the people of Vraja that He came so far down the staircase of His compassion as to even steal butter from their houses. Similarly, by considering Himself to be a conditioned soul, Sriman Mahaprabhu has now come down the staircase of compassion, simply to teach all the people.
First of all, Sriman Mahaprabhu says: “Ayi Nanda-tanuja! I have fallen in the terrible ocean of material existence!”
Ayi is the word a female person generally uses upon addressing someone. When a male person addresses someone, it’s supposed to be “He Nanda-tanuja!” From this we can understand that Sri Gauranga Mahaprabhu has humbly accepted the mood of Sri Radha. The bhava of Sri Radha is vibhu, all-pervading and supreme, and from Her mahabhava all other bhavas become manifest. In the pastimes of Sri Gauranga Mahaprabhu an unbroken stream of His relishing of Radha-bhava is flowing. In Caitanya Bhagavata, for instance, it is said that He was repeatedly listening to the stories about Dhruva Maharaja and Prahlada Maharaja from the Bhagavata:

gadadhara sammukhe poden bhagavata
suniya prakase prabhu krishna bhava yoto.
dhruvera caritra ara prahlada caritra
satavritti koriya sunen savahita

“Again and again the Lord carefully listened to the stories about Dhruva and Prahlada that were read to Him by Gadadhara Pandita from Srimad Bhagavata. As the Lord sat before Gadadhara, He manifested so many moods of love for Krishna.”

When Mahaprabhu heard how eagerly Dhruva was crying out to Sri Hari He remembered Sri Radha’s passionate love for Sri Krishna. Upon hearing how Prahlada became victorious over the demons who tortured him, and how the poison they administered to him tasted like nectar to him, Mahaprabhu, accepting the feelings of Sri Radha, thought: “I am also stopped from serving Krishna in so many ways – by My mother-in-law, by My sister-in-law, by local traditions, by family traditions, in the house and in the forest, and I have to conquer those obstacles. I should also consider the poison of the defamation of a chaste housewife to be as delicious as nectar!” In this way one can understand the first word of this verse. Mahaprabhu accepts the mood of a neophyte devotee in the mood of Sri Radha, saying:
“Ayi son of Maharaja Nanda! I am Your fallen maidservant and I have fallen into the terrible prisonhouse of My household-affairs. Please consider this fallen maidservant to be just like a speck of dust on the soles of Your lotus-like feet!”

There is another secret in the way Mahaprabhu addresses Krishna here as “Ayi Nanda-tanuja”. Tanuja means “born from the body”, a combination of the father’s semen and the mother’s ovum. Does God take His birth in such a way? His form is, after all, transcendental! How can He be called “born from Nanda’s body”?
In Srimad Bhagavata (10.5.1) Sri Suka Muni has also said: nandas tvatmaja utpanne jatahlado mahamanah –
“The high-souled Nanda was ecstatic because a son (atmaja) had been born to him.”

Srila Jiva Gosvami writes in his Toshani-Tika on this verse: atratmajatvam utpannatvam atmajatvenotpannatvam ityartha-trayam pratyekanvayabhyam vyajyate nilotpalavad iti. “From the words atmaja utpanne in the sloka we can understand the meaning of these two particular words and their mutual relationship. For instance when we say nilotpala (blue lotus), we must first know what is a lotus and what is the colour blue and then we can picture ourselves a blue lotus flower. Otherwise we can not know or understand what is a blue lotus flower.”

In Bhagavad Gita (4.9), Lord Krishna tells Arjuna:

janma karma ca me divyam evam yo vetti tattvatah
tyaktva deham punar janma naiti mam eti so’rjuna

“O Arjuna! Anyone who knows the truth about My divine birth and activities will not take birth again in the material world, but he will attain Me!”

Sripada Ramanujacarya writes in his commentary on this verse: madiya divya janma ceshtita yathartha jnanena vidhvasta samasta mat samasrayana virodhi papma asminn eva janmani mam asritya mad eka priyo mam eva prapnoti. “When one knows the actual truth about My transcendental birth and activities, all sins, which are stopping one from surrendering unto Me, will be destroyed and one will attain Me even in this very lifetime through the practice of loving devotion.”

We can easily understand that Krishna’s birth is very special, if anyone who knows it in truth is himself freed from further rebirth! The secret about Him being anyone’s born son is that only the love of His devotee can cause waves of transcendental desire in Him. The love of a devotee in the parental mood makes Him forget all His divine prowess and causes Him to take birth as that devotee’s son. When the Lord sees how eager such a loving devotee is to rear and to fondle Him as a child, He becomes eager to relish that love and He agrees to become the child of that devotee. Although He is unborn, He then imitates the activities of childbirth, although His transcendental form is actually eternally perfect and self-manifest. Actually His body was never made by the semen of any father and the ovum of any mother, nevertheless He is eternally known as the “born son” of His eternally liberated parents, Nanda and Yasoda.
From this we come to know the Lord as One who always desires to relish the taste of His devotees’ love for Him. Therefore not only the devotee needs the Lord, the Lord also needs the devotees! Mahaprabhu said: “Ayi Nanda-tanuja! You are eager to taste the love of Your devotees, therefore not only I need You, but You also need me!” That is the purport of this address.
“Ayi Nanda-tanuja! I have fallen into this terrible ocean of material existence!” Surely this world is miserable, hard to tolerate and burning like poison. Bhagavan Mahaprabhu, by the mere chanting of whose name the ocean of samsara dries, and upon merely seeing whom the mankind can easily cross the ocean of samsara and attain the treasure of prema, warns all the living entities to beware the ocean of samsara with these instructions.
Srila Prabodhananda Sarasvati describes the terrible ocean of matter as follows:

samsara duhkha jaladhau patitasya kama
krodhadi nakra makaraih kavalikritasya
durvasana nigaditasya nirasrayasya
caitanya candra! mama dehi padavalambam
(Caitanya Candramrita, 54)

“O Sri Caitanya Candra! I have fallen into the ocean of material miseries where I am swallowed by the crocodiles and sharks of lust and anger and bound up by the chains of wicked desires. Give this helpless soul shelter at Your lotus feet!”

When a soul falls into this ocean of misery he is completely helpless. When one asks: “Why should you be helpless in this world? Don’t you have a mother and father, sons and daughters, friends and relatives? Why do you feel so helpless then?”, then the answer is: “My parents, brothers and children – all of them are similarly struggling helplessly in this terrible ocean, being attacked by their six enemies, namely lust, anger, greed and so, which are like sharks and crocodiles that are snapping and chewing on them”. Without the mercy of the devotees or without taking shelter of Sri Govinda’s lotus feet yogis, karmis, and jnanis cannot escape from these sharks and crocodiles.

The story of king Citraketu in Srimad Bhagavata (sixth canto) is a good example of moha, or illusion. Bewildered by the desire for a son, king Citraketu married ten million women, but still he did not get even one son. By chance the sage Angira visited him once and the king immediately asked him for the boon of a son. The sage Angira explained to the king that a son was simply an illusory blessing that would bring him a lot of misery, but the king could not give up this illusion and again asked the sage for a son. So Angira performed a sacrifice to give the king a son and told the king’s chief queen, who was named Kritadyuti, to eat the remnants of the food offered in the sacrifice. Soon afterwards a son was born to her and the king, totally enchanted by the child, did not leave her room anymore to see any other queen. The other queens began to burn in the fire of envy and finally killed the baby by poisoning it. There was no limit to the king’s misery and his lamentations. Some time later Angira came back to the king’s palace, along with his friend Narada Muni. The sage Angira was so powerful that he could make the dead baby speak spiritual knowledge that destroyed the king’s delusion. The king thus gave up his enchantment with family life and became a great devotee by the mercy of these sages. The same thing counts for other anarthas such as mada (pride out of delusion). There’s no other way to become free from the crocodiles and snakes of lust and anger, which freely swim in the ocean of material existence, than to take shelter of the process of devotion, which finds its origin in the mercy of the great devotees. In the following song, Srila Narottama Dasa Thakura explains how we can make these sharks and crocodiles from enemies into great friends and assistents by engaging them in the Lord’s service:

kama krodha lobha moha, mada matsarya dambha saha,
sthane sthane niyukta koribo
ananda kori hridoy, ripu kori parajoy,
anayase govinda bhajibo

“I will engage lust, anger, greed, illusion, envy and pride all in Krishna’s service. Thus I can defeat these enemies with a blissful heart and easily worship Govinda.”

krishna seva kamarpane, krodha bhakta dveshi jane,
lobha sadhu sange hari katha
moha ishta labha vine, mada krishna gunagane,
niyukta koribo yatha tatha

“I will engage my lusty desires in Krishna’s service, my anger towards those who envy His devotees, my greed in desiring to speak about Hari with the saints, my illusion when I cannot attain my beloved Lord and my intoxication by singing Krishna’s glories.”

anyatha svatantra kama, anarthadi yara dhama,
bhakti pathe sada deya bhanga
kiba se korite pare, kama krodha sadhakere,
yadi hoy sadhu janara sanga

“Otherwise lust will be an independent desire that always breaks up the path of devotion, being an abode of sin. But what can lust and anger do to the practising devotee when he is in the company of saints?”

Amongst the six aforementioned enemies Sri Narottama did not mention envy, for the Srimad Bhagavata opens with the words nirmatsaranam satam: the path of devotion is for non-envious saints only. An envious person cannot tolerate another person’s superiority (parotkarshasahanam matsaryam). In whomever’s heart there is matsarya, envy, there is also his wife pratishthasa, the desire for distinction. From the union of this couple the twins himsa (violence) and asuya (jealousy) are born. The terrible dancing of this demoniac family will crush all good qualities in the heart, so that the light of devotion cannot shine in it anymore.
The living beings who have fallen into the ocean of material existence are bound hand and foot by the chains of their sinful desires; durvasana nigaditasya. These are not ordinary ropes for binding, these are real, living, and terrible chains! On the bank of a big river was a village where almost everyone could swim because the village was often flooded. During a flood the people usually held on to floating pieces of timber to save themelves. One time when there was a flood the people saw something black floating downstream, which looked like a blanket. One person swam to it and held on to it, while his companions on the shore said: “Let go of this thing now, you can stand there!” That person replied: “Brother! I’ve let go of the blanket, but the blanket doesn’t let me go!” Actually, it was not a blanket, but a half-dead bear that was floating in the river in the hail and the rain. When people catch hold of it they may think that they’ve found some support, but actually the bear will catch firm hold of them instead! That bear represents the sounds, touches, forms, tastes and smells that are floating down the river of material existence. The people who are bound up by maya consider these sense-objects to be most desirable and enjoyable, but then they are firmly caught by these attractions that will bring them only sorrow, disease and the three kinds of material miseries.
Sriman Mahaprabhu said: “O Nandanandana! Actually I am Your eternal servant, but I have forgotten Your lotus feet and I have become bound up by maya. What a miserable condition!

krishna nitya dasa jiva taha bhuli gelo
sei doshe maya tara golaya bandhilo
tate krishna bhaje, kore gurura sevana
mayajala chute pay krishnera carana
(Caitanya Caritamrita)

“The living being has forgotten that it is Krishna’s eternal servant and because of that fault, maya has bound him around the neck. But when he worships Krishna and serves his guru, the net of maya will break and he will attain Krishna’s lotus feet.”

One may ask here: “If the living beings are Krishna’s eternal servants, then why and when did they forget Sri Krishna? Is it possible for a Krishna-conscious person ever to forget Krishna?”
The answer is given by Sri Jiva Gosvami in his Paramatma Sandarbha (44): tad evam ananta eva jivakhya tatasthah saktayah. tatra tasam varga dvayam. eko vargah anadita eva bhagavad unmukhah anyas tu anadita eva bhagavat paranmukhah svabhavatah tadiya jnana bhavat tadiya jnanabhavac ca.
“There are innumerable spirit souls and they are the marginal potency of God. There are two classes of them: one class is favorable to God from beginningless time, and the other class is turned away from God from beginningless time. The first class is naturally full of knowledge and the other is without knowledge.”

There is no other way for those souls who are conditioned by maya in this terrible ocean of material existence than the grace of Sri Krishna or His devotees. Therefore Sriman Mahaprabhu considers Himself to be an ordinary conditioned soul, just to teach all living beings and He prays to Krishna: kripaya tava padapankaja sthita dhuli sadrisam vicintaya – “Please consider Me to be a mere speck of dust at Your lotus feet!” The first word He uses is kripaya: there is no other recourse but mercy. Although sugarcane is naturally full of juice, the juice cannot come out without squeezing it. Similarly God is full of the juice of mercy, but without the devotees’ eagerness that juice will not come out. The Lord must therefore be worshipped with great eagerness. But success in sadhana is not only dependent on a great amount of effort. Only when the mercy descends the devotee can be blessed with the full perfection of love of God.
Lord Brahma says to Sri Krishna in Srimad Bhagavata (10.14.8) that those who await the mercy of God will inherit His lotus feet:

tat te’nukampam susamikshyamano
bhunjana evatma-kritam vipakam
hrid vag vapurbhir vidadhan namas te
jiveta yo muktipade sa dayabhak

Lord Brahma said: “O Lord! You are the ocean of all auspicious qualities! Those who silently tolerate all the reactions to previously performed acts with an unattached mind, and continue to offer their obeisances unto You with their bodies, minds and words, will inherit Your lotus feet, just as the son inherits the wealth of his father!”

Mahaprabhu says: “O Lord! Please consider this servant to be a mere speck of dust at Your lotus feet and bless this fallen servant with devotional service.” The Lord desires this because dust always sticks at the footsoles, it never falls off. The devotee should also lament: “Why doesn’t my mind always stick to those transcendentally blissful lotus feet? Why is this wicked mind always absorbed in thinking of these disgusting sense objects instead? How unfortunate I am! Even in my dreams I’m absorbed in thinking of sense enjoyment! When will I think of Krishna’s lotus feet in all stages of awareness: deep sleep, dreaming state and wakefulness? I should cry for being in such a situation!”
The Lord said: “O Krishna! I am Your kinkara!”
The Sanskrit words kim karomi mean “what service can I render?” and from that the word kinkara, or servant, is derived. It indicates someone who is eager to serve. When such eager desires appear in the mind the desires for sense enjoyment will slowly be given up and the Lord will not like to let the devotee down anymore, just as a speck of dust always sticks on the footsoles. The Lord personally explained this verse as follows:

tomara nitya dasa mui toma pasariya
podiyacho bhavarnave mayabaddha hoiya
kripa kori koro more pada dhuli sama
tomara sevaka koro tomara sevana

“I am Your eternal servant, but I have forgotten You. Now I have fallen into the ocean of material existence, being bound up by maya. Please make Me like the dust at Your feet and make Your servant serve You!”

– commentary by Sri Srimat Radhakunda Mahant Ananta das Babaji
– translation by Sripad Advaita das